My house! My world! My life!
by Bangkok-chan
Summary: After a machine failure, Monica's house is invaded by FMA characters. A lot of them. Without any parents home, what sort of adventures will the group have? Rated for some wrongness. AU? Bad summary, OCs welcome! ON HIATUS


**Author's note: It's me again, and I would like to warn you of complete randomness, idiocy, the rare swear word and little Ed koalas. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Enjoy~**

* * *

A week ago

"Monica, look after the house." Daniel Andrews looked down at his 14-year-old daughter. "I'm gonna have to if you guys are away for 2 years. So don't worry." Monica rolled her eyes. Her parents had to leave again. "Darling, it'll save money. We would come back sooner, but we decided this amount of time would put less stress on us." Leah Andrews tried to make peace with her rebellious daughter. "You know what? Just go. You'll be late." They looked up at the clock and exchanged one last greeting. "Be good and stay normal." "I will." As the parents drove off, they were unaware of the bad luck about to befall their daughter.

* * *

Now

"And that's the last screw. Let's see if it works." Monica had finished her father's anime character teleportation unit and was ready to test it out. She was always into mechanics, to the disdain of her peers and mother. Her father, however supported this, and made designs for her to test. "Let's see, maybe I should test out Fullmetal Alchemist first. Set to 1-2 characters per transport, keep going. 'May take 5 minutes or more. Processing...' Well I guess I gotta wait."

* * *

Five minutes later

"Where the hell am I?" Edward Elric looked around. "Dunno, brother. Can you use your alchemy? Try destroying or something." Alphonse suggested. So Ed did. He destroyed half of Monica's three-storey house and regretted it. "What the hell! Oh right, I forgot to turn on the 'no powers' setting." Monica walked out from the hole where the front door once stood to face a nervous blond midget. "Sorry about the house. I-" "You fix it right now! Now I say! You think destroying half my house is cool? Using the front door is cool! (A.N. Don't own Dane Cook XD) Now go!" Yep, Ed regretted it. _She's even worse than Winry..._

Once he fixed it, Monica turned to both of them. "Sorry, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Monica Andrews and I brought you here. You guys are..." She already knew who they were, but she didn't want to come across as creepy. "I'm Edward Elric, and this is my younger brother Alphonse," he said pointing to the huge suit of armour. "By the way, what do you mean by saying you brought us here? Five minutes ago I was battling Envy! Can you tell us what happened?"

"It's a very long story..." Monica sighed.

* * *

"So that's it, you know the rest." Monica was about to invite them in until Al uncovered a very important point. "What about the machine?" "Oh sheets! The machine!" Monica rushed to a grim looking screen. "What!? '10 more characters until self-destruction'? Dammit! I can't turn it off! And I lost the blueprint too! Seems like you guys are stuck here for the next two years until Mum and Dad are back. Come in, you're staying with me." Monica led them into the flamboyant living room. "Yeah, there's different stuff since technology rules this world instead of alchemy. No, Al, don't poke the computer." Monica turned to the suit of armour curiously poking her laptop. "Oh my Leto, this looks so cool. What does it do?" Monica sighed. "I'll show you. Pass me." Al passed her the 'computer' thing. "Now let's see... ooh! There's that cute picture of Ed in a koala costume! Can you seeeeeeeee? It's so adorable!" _Damn, she reminds me of Brigadier General Hughes... _Al suddenly thought in confusion. _What. The. Heck in the fudging world is THAT!?_ Ed narrowed his eyes at the offending picture of him in a strange animal costume with Al in the background. "If you want a more offending picture I have this!" Monica clicked on another file saying 'chibi Envy' (You know, from the OVA?). Ed stared in horror at the infernal picture of a really (admittedly) cute Envy taking off a dragon costume. Monica laughed as she shut the computer down. "Well, we can look at images later. I should show you around."

* * *

"Umm... aren't we touring this floor first?" Ed asked in confusion as Monica led them up the stairs. "It's getting late. I should show you your room firstly anyway. Oh! There it is as she pointed to a random doorway in the hall. "This floor is full of guest bedrooms (aka. Like 5) and another guest room is downstairs, but it holds four people. So here is your room." Monica opened the door of a very luxurious hotel-style room. It had two king sized beds with beige silk sheets, a spa and a walk-in closet. "No suites in this house except for Mum and Dad's room 'cause the last time was horrible." Al looked around and jumped onto the bed closest to the door. "Oh joy! I wish I was human!" Monica chuckled at his kid-like behaviour. "Santa can grant that wish! We have a holiday called Christmas where we get presents and stuff supposedly from Santa. Anyways, my wish was granted!" she beamed, gesturing to the whole house. "You got this house for a 'Christmas' present!? Oh my Leto!" Monica realised Al was really feminine, he could pass off as a girl if he grew his hair long, wore make up and wore the right clothes. She looked at her watch. _9:05, huh? Better get some rest for our next guest._(Wow, that rhymed!) "Guys, I know you still want to explore, but it's late now. You'd better rest, what if the next character was Envy? Anyways, the bathroom's down the end of the hall. If you need me, I'm upstairs." Ed's head perked up at Envy's name. "Oh... thanks for that Monica. Well then see you later, I guess?" Monica nodded "Anyways, call me Monny." The door closed behind her.

* * *

SKIT 1: Driving

**I love skits! Think them up, put them in, thank people and voila! Skit section done! (Don't own asdf)**

Al: Aha! They said I could never teach Brother to drive!

Ed: (driving badly) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Al: No, Brother, no!

Ed: (driving off cliff) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

* * *

**Moshi: Short, but... I know. I'm horrible...**

**Winry: Review for more shenanigans!**

**Moshi: Please? Or I'll call the mole doctor. (from Greasy Tales for Gruesome Kids)**


End file.
